Thursday, March 11, 2010

We Interrupt Etsy Thursdays For...

Chuck Norris!

chuck norris

Since it was his 70th birthday yesterday, and he does not care much for Etsy, I decided it would be safer to move "Etsy Thursdays" to a Friday once rather than risk a roundhouse kick. So yea, Chuck Norris, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I realize that some of you may not know who Chuck is, so here are some common known facts about the man =)

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris...

On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn?t lifting himself up, he?s pushing the Earth down...

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head...

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month...

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink...

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is...

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

chuck norris

I love Chuck! Not as much as my Dad does though. =)

Blueberry Sig


  1. wow, chuck really is a bad-ass!! your tribute certainly is pretty funny!
    xoxo alison

  2. a chuckumentary! there is a lot i didn't know about the chuckster!

  3. YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!! There is nothing better than The Norris. Never ever ever!